if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
These tits shall not be calmed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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