I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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