I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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