grandma shit on top of the toilet
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
