My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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