she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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