theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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