She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
