Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
