I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
