i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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