My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
