I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
