Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
