We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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