I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
