Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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