Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She bit a glass in half.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
