Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
