You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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