we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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