I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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