clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
