I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
