First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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