ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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