Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She even gives head with a lisp.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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