I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
