he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
