i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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