Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
