allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
