GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
