woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
