Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
