the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
