This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
