Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
