You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
