She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
