Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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