First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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