I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
