You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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