There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
