so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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