dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
