Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
