I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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