you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
