You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
